Feeling like Christmas

As I am on my flight home from JFK to LAX... I think about the semester that has gone by.

In the last month since the START of Thanksgiving break, I started to be MIA. If I talked to you or spent time with you during this last month, you were special to me.

However, why was I MIA? why was I furiously studying and working on my school work.

It seems like every morning I wake up and look in the mirror, I look like I got beat up because I got these huge black circles. Also, my hair is ridiculously long. Now, for those who know me... you know I'd never let my hair grow out beyond a certain length... well... I did. If you see me at my birthday party, you'll see what I'm talking about. It's pretty ridiculous.

I mean if I was a total introvert then this would not be such a shock... but I'm a "social butterfly" as many of my friends call me. So what motivated me to be MIA?

After reading Keller's book on Counterfeit Gods, I realized my motivations might seem legit and even honorable in the American culture context; however, as a Christian, I don't believe it was quite honorable instead I believe it is quite shameful.

Keller was the one who mentioned this but somehow I remember as I was studying for my last few finals and finishing my projects I asked my self why am I working so hard?

My answer... similar to what Keller mentioned in his book.
I needed to justify my existence.

Isn't that sad? I mean that is what I thought about the exams and projects. You are given the whole semester to sit in class and learn and you get a couple of hours to show what you learned and how smart you really are.

Coming from Berkeley sure doesn't help. I feel like I have to represent my school. Here at Columbia and I'm sure at other schools as well, Berkeley Engineering is highly respected. I feel like I need to meet up to their expectations. Coming from Broadcom sure doesn't help either. I have worked three years as an analog circuit designer working with the elite designers. I have industry experience... I must be smart. I can't even imagine the feeling of looking stupid in class or in my group.

Now it might be commendable that I am trying to represent my school and my company. It might be a good thing that I am trying my best in school and not waste any time. However, I believe I became very competitive and selfish with my time. Time is very important, everything requires time. Serving requires time, reading requires time, praying requires time, taking care of my body by sleeping requires time, catching up with people and listening to them requires time, helping someone with class requires time. Calling home and my sister requires time. The list goes on.

When I served at His toy store (this is where redeemer holds a toy store for the poor and they get to shop for free for brand new toys), I had to travel to Brooklyn... and give up 4 hours of my time. I was complaining the day before about serving and how much work I had to still to do. I lacked so much joy, yet God blessed me through this service and afterwards I realized how many people had nothing to eat and nothing to give on Christmas. Why am I complaining about class?! Many of these people don't even have the means of education.

I think God is slowly revealing my harden heart on the poor. Honestly, I don't believe I learned that at Eastbay. Whether because the church did not emphasize it as much or I was harden to it... one way or another... God has shown me through redeemer how ungracious I really am.

The bible talks about the widow and the poor all the time. Even Jesus said, "For you always have the poor with you, but you will not always have me." Matthew 26:11.

I think giving away my first dollar was tough. However, after the initial breaking I am able to be more gracious. I think I was always afraid that with money they can buy drugs and alcohol instead of food. I mean sure, but I should try to think best of them. Some will most likely use it to buy drugs but many will buy food with it so why should I let the few rule my heart... maybe it's because I wanted an excuse not to give.

Recently there was a snow storm in NYC... The day after I was in line getting chicken over rice near Columbia and there was this homeless person coming to the cart and he asked for spare change from the group in front of me... it was a bunch of college folks and they straight up ignored him. I saw him just standing there with half shaven side and really tattered clothing... I believe being hungry is one of the worst things in the world. When I'm hungry, I cannot think straight, I get grumpy and I just want food especially if I am smelling it. It was cold that day and it was almost Christmas. I asked him when was the last time he had eaten. He said 2 days. Two days! wow. He might be lying, but I believed him. I bought him chicken over rice. I try to talk to him and ask why he is on the street and where were his family. After giving him the food, I said Merry Christmas and God bless you.

Maybe it doesn't feel like Christmas because Christmas is associated with giving, love, and warmth. I definitely was not giving, loving nor providing any warmth to anyone. I was competitive, selfish, and just focused on myself the entire last month. I think it was only after I started giving, and serving... that I thought... yeah! this is Christmas. This is what it feels like and this is what it means.

I recently got my sister a gift and I think she will really like it. Well, I hope. I haven't seen her in a long time.

I remember my friend Jenn told me there are two events that New Yorkers are nice. Christmas, and when the Yankees win the world series. Well it's Christmas and the Yankees did win the world series. As I walked around NYC and shopped, I think I am beginning to see that. As I walk out of the subway, a homeless person is asking for change and I see people digging into their pockets and handing over some coins. One time, I saw this person in a wheel chair outside the subway station. It was windy and he was begging and he looked at me and plead "please!" How can I ignore that?! How can anyone ignore that?! My mom is so much more gracious than I am. Her heart melts and automatically gives money if she sees the hungry. Why? it's because she has been poor. I have been poor too but why am I not as gracious? Wouldn't I understand more? Maybe I forgot the feeling of being poor or I suppressed it because it was a feeling I don't want to remember. Coming to NYC reminds me of the past and it definitely has reminded me of when I was without food. God is definitely working in my heart, I might not like it... If I love God's word and I am living in the city there is no way I can read His Word and ignore the poor. They are everywhere.

So with these reflections, where do I go from here? Two things... First, I think I need to really let go of my insecurities. I need to trust God and fully grasped the gospel. My intelligences and my ability to do work all come from God. He can take it away at anytime like He did with Nebuchadnezzar. Second, I need to prioritize my time better. More on serving, and less on self. Be gracious to the poor because God has given me much... how can I selfishly hog it all? Did not Jesus gave up everything for us including His life so that we may truly live? Thanks for all those who have been praying for me and for those who have called me to see how I am doing.

Mark, if you got to the end of this, tell everyone at CG I said hi and that I think about them from time to time. I appreciate you and the group's concern about how I am doing. =)

Alyssa, if you read this, thanks for coming to church with me and keeping me company. Thanks for praying for me and making sure I stay sane. I really appreciate all the encouragement. =)

Joe, thanks for visiting man... it was awesome to see you. Thanks for praying. =)

Brandon and Daniel, thanks for calling and keeping me accountable. Thanks for praying. I don't believe I could have done it without you guys. The Lord is gracious =)

Jenn, thanks for running with me in CP. It was a good way to get away from the busyness of school and just relax and run and de-stress. yay to 10k frun! (freedom run) haha

Jesus Christ, He allowed me to finish the semester and whatever good I did... praise Him because without His grace I would not have done it. All glory to Him. Praise God for His Son and I hope that this Christmas will remind you and me of the precious blood that was spilled on our behalf.

I'm sure there are plenty more... so thank you all. Thanks for reading. Merry Christmas!

Maranatha

It's Sunday night. I went to church not too long ago. I just participated in the Lord's supper. However I am up tonight pondering why I am lacking joy. Somehow the Gospel is not in the forefront of my mind. I tried preaching the Gospel to myself. I pray, I go to small group, I read the bible. I am trying to revive it but it just doesn't seem to work. People have been praying for me and it has been helping but it's not quite like how I was before. I am lacking joy and contentment.

However, what I believe to be worse is now that I tried the Gospel, I am looking for joy from other things other than Christ. Those other things might be harmless in itself. Things such as friendship, recognition, academia success, being important or even needed. However, I realized that these things will not fulfill me. So I have tried and struggled with my very best to not find my joy in these things. But because I am not drawing from the Gospel, my mind would automatically find it in other things...

Maybe God is humbling me and telling me that no matter how hard I struggle I cannot do it. Why? Because it is not about my efforts. So then do I wait for His revival of me? Do I wait for the joy to come? Maybe I am just not being patient or maybe I just don't want to fight or endure the lack of joy. Ultimately He is Sovereign.

However, something my friend told me recently was really encouraging... that on the final day that those who struggle and barely make it, Christ will reward and will glorify "more" than those who have it easy. Maybe that's what it means that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. When Judgment Day comes... all will be fair. I'm sure there are plenty of people who struggle harder than what I am going through.

I know I must refocus my eyes and take it off myself and focus on others. However, a lot of times, I feel tired of serving, tired of praying for people, and tired to help the city. Many times I will think when will other people serve me? However, Christ never asked that. He always served without expecting much... instead the people He served betrayed Him, ran from Him, and abandoned Him when He needed them the most. So how did He do it? He fixed His eyes on God the Father and His glory.

I must continue to fix my eyes on my Lord Jesus Christ. If I focus on anything else... I believe I will continue my downward spiral. Ravi Zacharias said, "The loneliest moment in life is when you have experienced that which you thought would have delivered the ultimate but it has let you down."

Let's be honest here. Sometimes I feel that way about Jesus. I feel lonely because I thought Jesus would have delivered the ultimate but I feel like He has let me down. Well, as I probe deeper I realized, no He has not let me down... It's usually I think He has let me down because I want something that is not Him such as recognition, importance, and all these secondary things...

Therefore, I pray, I will focus more on Christ and Eternity. I am here only for a short while. Life is but a vapor. May I look forward to Judgment Day and know that it will be a blessed day. The day when all will be made equal. Justice will be exacted. Satan will be crushed and I will forever never have to struggle with sin.

Maranatha,
kevin

nyc subways

The subway system in nyc is quite intense.

On some days, everything just goes smoothly. On some days, everything just goes horribly.

Tonight was one of the best. As I came home from sg, it was pouring. I got to time square and entered and waited for either the local or the express. I looked into the tunnel and saw no local for a while but the express arrived. In my head, I'm thinking and hoping that the express would catch up with the local and I would be able to get on it. I have two stops 72nd st and 96th st to transfer to the local. When I got to the 72nd station, no 1 train was in sight, nor did I past one. Then as we zoomed past the next local stop I realized that there were relatively few people waiting. My logic kicks in, this means... that the 1 had probably recently stop by. As we past 86th station (this station is the last station before the transfer point), I noticed that there were people walking towards the exit... this must mean the 1 had just stop by. As we approached 96th st, there was still no sight of the local train... and I'm thinking crap, if it's not waiting at 96th st that must mean I just missed it... and would have to wait a very long time for the next local train... then lo and behold as we entered 96th station... the one had also just arrived! I got off and got on to the local train and phew what a relief. zero wait. It was an awesome day.

It's funny how little things like that in NYC just makes your day. haha In the city everyone walks fast and are rushing to places... I think it is to make up for the lost time of waiting for the train or trying to avoid that depressing feeling you get when you see a bunch of people walk up from the subway station as you enter it... because that means you JUST missed the train... One time, I saw people walk up and I RAN down the stairs and trying to avoid the crowd swipe my card (thankfully it only took one swipe... sometimes it takes many swipes and you just swipe away as you watch the train's door close and leave... -_-) but that time I swipe and flew in the door before it closed... One time I even held on to the door to get in. haha wow I feel like a true new yorker when I did that.

The nyc transit system is a beast I tell ya... Whenever I go to the station, I can always tell who the tourist are... they look so lost and don't know how to operate or don't know which train to take... while all the locals are busy rushing past them and shoving them out of the way.

It's intense and intricate... if you know how to ride express trains it can save you 5 or 10 minutes... you might think this is not a lot but it is for a new yorker. However, if you miss your transfer to the local train... you will definitely end up losing time...

It's also 24 hours. So you never have to worry about not being able to go home... and people are on the train even in the wee hours... I have taken it at 3AM before... the trains are still full of people... although the trains do run less often... however at least there is a way home besides the expensive cab.

So if it's 24 hours when do they do maintenance? On weekends and late night times... so during those times it might be horrible... Sometimes there are no local downtown trains... so everything runs express. Sometimes trains don't go all the way and you have to transfer to another train. Sometimes there are no express.

In general overall... I feel like the subway system is a hit or miss and depends on the day... weekdays are usually pretty reliable on weekends... it's iffy... however, without the subway I don't think I would be able to do much outside of columbia... so definitely props to the system even though it is not perfect...

kevin

Reflection

This week has been a lot better.

Thanks to everyone who has been praying for me. Last week's sermon was on being reborn. In small group today we discussed about what does it truly mean to be reborn.

For me the term being reborn... is so... colloquial. Sure, we as Christian know that we must be reborn to have faith but I have heard that term so many times I think I have truly lost the meaning of what it means.

Of course, if there was a theology quiz and it asked this question what does reborn mean... I would totally have an answer... something like oh you must die to your old self. You must have the regenerative Holy Spirit living within to do the saving work and sanctification work.

But how come when I read John 3, I can totally relate to Nicodemus. I feel like I'm asking Jesus "What do you mean reborn? I can't go back to my mother's womb" What do you mean the Spirit blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound but you do not know where it goes? How can these things be?

I feel like Jesus is responding to me "Are you the teacher of Israel and yet you do not understand these things? " I am not necessary the teacher of Israel but I sure know a lot about the bible. I can probably qualify in man's sense as one who can disciple other people. Yet, I am humbled by this passage.

I feel in a sense, I know what reborn is but I don't know how it looks like... Or maybe I don't see the effect of it in me... or maybe I saw it in the past and remembered the joy but currently it is not here. I begin to doubt and think where is the joy? Am I also like Nicodemus? However, I remember the verse in Ephesians 2 where it explains clearly that we were dead in the trespasses and sins. But God in His rich and great mercy saved me even though I was dead. I think that even though I might not completely have joy currently, the fact that I even noticed it or reflect upon it is a sign of life. CJ Mahaney said once that even the fact that we are struggling with the lack of joy shows us that we are spiritually aware... because those who are spiritually dead don't care and won't struggle.

By the grace of God, I am who I am today. I think this is indeed humbling... for me to be a Christian this long (still relatively short) and yet I now realized... I am still a teenager. Knowing what's right and wrong but yet not completely doing what's right. Rebelling against the Father. Yet, He is so patient with me. I think this is humbling on another level knowing that this is not about trying my best because I try my best and still in a sense fail. I have been equipped well... I think God is teaching me that it is not truly only about how much you have learned or equipped but it is how much I am depending upon God daily. What kind of relationship do I have with Jesus and how much do I pray to Him daily acknowledging that I am not doing okay. Am I seeking His grace?

I think with all this in mind, it motivates me to pray more. In a sense I think it is harder to pray to God than to actually "do" something about it. I might feel like I'm wasting my time praying instead of doing but I think God is teaching me something here... I need to rely on Him instead of myself. I need His strength and grace. New York City might be a huge beast but I realized He is much bigger. As Jesus said, "With man it is impossible, but not with God. For all things are possible with God." -Mark 10:27.

kevin

Pause. Reflect. Scripture. Convictions. Prayer. Action.

NYC... it is more difficult than it seems. I have heard this place described in many ways...

It is a beast out in nyc...
It is the place where you are always surrounded by people yet... you don't feel a sense of community...
It is very efficient but many times it just seems like no one cares...
No personal space... you are breathing people everyday.
etc etc.

To me, this is the place that God has stripped me.

I reflect upon the past month that I have been here and when I take a look at my heart I realized how much I haven't changed from my old self...

Back at Berkeley, even though the people around me might be liberal, I was surrounded by a great community of believers. It was a blessing where I was able to form my convictions on the solid Word of God.

It was easy. Everyone else is doing it... everyone else is loving God, singing praises to Him, serving brothers and sisters in Christ. Even though I would question myself a lot of times whether I am doing it for God or for people... I pray that it would be for God instead of fear of man... but now God has stripped me of my close brothers and now I am by myself... truly how much have I changed? Truly how much am I depending on God?

As I sat there in small group today, as I contemplated what in the world am I doing in NYC. I thought about the degree, I thought about the HW, and I thought about the grading... I wanted to be excellent in these fields... However, a conviction struck my heart... have I made all these the end instead of a mean to the end. Have I lost my sight of why I'm in school. For what purpose? Where is God in all of this. Sure I can say well I want to do all these things for His glory but come on if I am real with myself... I have lost sight of God in the midst of all this.

I look at my behavior for the past month and man I feel like I assimilated right into the nyc culture. I walk fast and judge those who are slow or who are tourist and just are in my way. When I am grading HW, I become annoyed at those students who solve problems unconventionally and have to make me work... I don't think of it as a service to them. There is so much judgment and hate going on in my heart... sure my heart and conscious would jolt and say hey that's not right and that's not love but I feel like I just brush it aside because I am too busy to get from A to B and when I get to B I need to solve C and then afterwards I need to make D and the list never stops... am I searing my conscious and hardening my heart?

What happened to the grand scheme of things I was supposed to do for God and NYC? How come they have been put in the back burner... if they are even still on the stove?! Have I tabled it... have I left it in the freezer...

I sometimes think oh but God is gracious, or oh it is not all about doing things... or oh maybe now I would understand God's grace and mercy because I feel so not worthy of his love... but these are no excuse for continually not caring about the people around me... or even worse becoming more cold towards the people who I don't know.

Today at small group we talked about Redeemer's vision and hope for the poor in NYC. We went over one of my favorite verses in the OT. Micah 6:8.

"He has told you, O man, what is good;
and what does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?"

God has told me what is good. Eastbay has equipped me well... I know the bible, I have read many books about the bible and I have read books on how to make the bible practical... God has indeed told me what is good... and what does the LORD require? To do justice, to love kindness and to talk humbly with my God.

In many ways if you tie this in with the two previous verses, God has basically reduced the entire 600+ OT commandments into three. The previous verses, Micah 6:6-7

"With what shall I come before the LORD,
and bow myself before God on high?
Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,
with calves a year old?
Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,
with ten thousands of rivers of oil?
Shall I give my firstborn for my transgression,
the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"

I can ask myself these same questions... except replace burnt offerings with education, degrees, money, etc... However, the Lord is not pleased with just these things... He requires the heart... To do justice, which could mean being ethical, caring about the poor, protecting the poor, To love kindness, to love those around me, to love people, and to love doing good, and to walk humbly with my God, to read His Word, to love His Word, to love the Gospel.

This verse reminds me of Isaiah 11:1-4.

There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse,
and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit.
And the Spirit of the LORD shall rest upon him,
the Spirit of wisdom and understanding,
the Spirit of counsel and might,
the Spirit of knowledge and the fear of the LORD.
And his delight shall be in the fear of the LORD.
He shall not judge by what his eyes see,
or decide disputes by what his ears hear,
but with righteousness he shall judge the poor,
and decide with equity for the meek of the earth;

The only person who can perfectly follow what Micah said is our Lord Jesus Christ. He shall not judge by what his eyes see or decide disputes by what his ears hear... this means He is not influenced by the world... but with righteousness he will judge the poor and decided with equity for the meek of the earth. Jesus truly cares about the meek and the poor and will exact equity and justice for them. He walks humbly with our God.

Finally... how does this wrap all around? Micah 6:8 reduces the commandment into three... Jesus reduces it into two. Matthew 22:36-40

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And he said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets."

Love the Lord, and to love the neighbor. In NYC, I have accomplished neither. I have been so self-focused... I complain about grading, I complain about not having settled down into a small group yet, I complain about the massive amount of work I am doing for school... I am usually closed off... I am quiet around people... I don't try to make an effort to get to know people... I lack accountability and I have been so busy that I have not stopped and paused and thought to myself what am I truly doing...

I'm glad God is gracious enough to let me grow my convictions at Berkeley... If it wasn't for those 7 years... I think NYC will probably smother and consume me. I'm thankful for God to continually give me the grace to examine my heart ever so often...

I just hope that I would not focus on school so much where I forget the Gospel... or where I forget serving God... I pray that I will not end up like my undergraduate days where I concentrated so much on school that I neglected the more important matters of life...

Matthew 6:33

"But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

kevin

My PT told me I have smooth skin

So... I went to PT today and I was laying there and she was going to perform some stretches on my shoulder and when she grabbed my arm she said wow you have smooth skin.

haha I laughed and proceeded to tell her how she's not the first person to tell me that... and I proceeded to explain to her shiseido and how my mom emphasize on taking care of your skin... however I believe it has a large part due to genetics...

anyway... yes the first person I thought of was Deborah... she always asked everyone to feel my skin haha anyway please don't. -_- I mean unless you really want to but don't sneak up on me and do it. haha

anyway it was comforting to hear that nyc/stress/fast-paced/studying/TAin/etc has not deteriorated my skin =)

midterm tomorrow and then flying back to LA for Pedro's wedding. This is the last wedding I am flying back for... unless I'm in the wedding party... I won't be going... red-eye flights are killer and I have class on Monday at 11AM -_-

kevin

New York City vs Southern California

So one thing I love about New York is that it is efficient.

When I go to the bank and deposit money, they do just that. No questions asked.

In so cal, when they look at my bank balance... they always ask oh do you want to put this into a CD or blah blah blah etc. Usually I'm okay with those questions... I just go no thank you.

Until today. Today I decided to deposit a check I got some liquidating my stock options. The teller was an Asian lady... typical Asian old lady who thinks she knows everything I didn't like the way she handle the previous customer... I hoped that I wouldn't get her... but lo and behold she became free and I walked up... and I hoped that it would be a short and quick transaction.

I swipe the card... the ATM card reader doesn't work... she then proceeds to take my card out of my hand and swipe it her self.

Pause right there. Mistake number one. You do not rudely take my card without asking me.

Then I took it back out of her hand and swiped it myself one more time and it went through.

She then decides to take the card out of my hand again and places it above her keyboard. Just in case she needs to use it again...

Pause right there. Mistake number two. You do not keep my debit card on your side of the counter... I have never experienced that before. I usually swipe and put it BACK into my wallet.

She then punches in my deposit amount and then she hesitantly holds onto the receipt and puts it down on her end of the table. She then asks her supervisor who is standing behind her to come over and says do you know why he has such a high balance? AND THEN she proceeds to asks me you do know your balance right?

Pause right there. Mistake number three. This is fatal. You do not question your customer's balance. When she placed the receipt on her side of the table... I felt as if she is retaining me to question me. The transaction is done so why are you not giving me my receipt? I felt interrogated as if this balance is not legit. Why did you ask your supervisor about my balance before you even asked me about it?! I also felt as if she's asking me "Are you stupid? for having such a balance?" Now why would you want your customer to feel that way? I did not go to the bank to feel interrogated and stupid. Yes my balance might be more than you have ever seen in real life but hey... some people save money and some people don't. Maybe you should start trying to save some money?

The supervisor then proceeds to ask oh are you buying a house soon? I'm like yes, it is liquid...chuckle chuckle... then the teller goes ohh here you go have a nice day and hands me the receipt. I then took the receipt and reached my hand over across the counter to take my card back and said you too and quickly left the bank.

Pause right there. Mistake number four. Don't give me the receipt without giving me my card. I could have just left without it.

Let's contrast this with the experience I had in NYC... I deposited twice in NYC. Both times went something like this...

The lady says hi, I say hi. I give her the deposit slip and swipe the card. I put the card back in my wallet. She then proceeds to punch in my deposit amount. She then gives me my receipt. I walk out. El fin.

Now you tell me which was more efficient... and tell me which place I felt questioned and stupid?

nyc. ftw.

kevin

Life is but a mist

Today in lab, my colleague asked if I heard of the news recently about the body found in Yale.

I looked up CNN and found this.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/14/missing.yale.student/index.html

She was planning her biggest event of her life... her wedding... when all of a sudden some evil ruthless murderer decided to end her life.

I pray for justice to prevail and that God would ultimately bring punishment upon the wicked. This is quite sad... It is so sad that sometimes I deal with the sadness by not thinking about it. However, I don't think that is the right decision.

How do I deal with this? I try to reflect on God's word and one thing comes into my mind...

"What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes."

Life is so short. I could be planning to do all these things... get my MS/PhD... travel the world... get married... raise kids... etc etc. However, who knows if any of these will come. What am I doing for the Lord today? How am I giving God glory... How is His name made magnified?

I think this incident has definitely sobered me up.

The other thing that comes into my mind... is anger. I hope it is godly anger. This is so injust. A precious life that God has created... was just taken away by another person. How do I deal with this?
It is quite sad... the husband to be is actually a graduate student at Columbia in the physics department...

I hope and pray that He would grant the friends and families who are grieving to know the love of Christ... I pray that God would continue to intervene on this dying sin-cursed earth to give the people who don't know Him the grace to believe and that by believing... they would be comforted by the love of Christ.

I'll dwell on this more later... for now... dinner and class.

kevin

vlog post #1

I did my first video blog... it's uploaded onto youtube. Here is the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCV72hISXek

it is almost the same update as the previous blog post... except you get to see me! haha =D maybe I'll do more of those later... it's time consuming to record and edit... =D

kevin

New Beginning

So I went to Boston this past weekend to help my friend Lauren move in. It was quite hectic... we went to target, trader joes, ace hardware, etc. I help her build a dresser and a desk while she cooked for me haha. We also ran around harvard square for about 45 minutes...

I saw my high school friend Angela and Antonia... I haven't seen them both in ages. It was definitely good catching up with them.

I also saw Paul J... it was really good catching up with him. I hope he moves to NYC after business school... haha

Tuesday I had a full day of orientation. I met some random engineers at a social. It was pretty cool.

On Wednesday, I got my Columbia ID.... I also got my desk space and a computer and account set up. I also signed up for classes.

I also got a mac. Yes. That's all I have to say. (student discount, so macbook pro + ipod touch + printer)

Thursday, I found out what class I have to TA. I also met up with Anna who also came to Columbia from Berkeley. She drove cross country... yes. california to nyc... I only know one other person who did that... Alice Li but then Alice is crazy enough to do something like that...

Friday, I ran Riverside Park, cooked dinner, and went to a small group. I am still checking out small groups... I wish I can plug in fast but I believe God has His timing so I must be patience with it...

Saturday, I went to a cal bar in east village to watch the cal vs maryland game... i saw so many of my old friends from college that i haven't see in ages... esp michelle and alice... who were so gracious in giving me and my friends some table space... anyway it was an awesome victory... go bears! i took the subway at 2AM back to harlem... i thought it would be bad but it wasn't bad at all.

Sunday, went to emmanuel church. it was a good service. a good reminder about patience and prayer... esp prayer. i need to pray more.

Today, went to target to buy some cleaning supplies and TP... and getting ready for class tomorrow... wooot woot... it's about to begin!

oh yeah! im still doing PT exercises... and all them push ups and sit ups for jeff. i saw the primary care doctor not too long ago... and im going to schedule a PT appointment soon... but yeah my medical insurance is now crap... i miss my broadcom benefits... =/

i'll post more later...

kevin

Norcal -> SoCal -> Hawaii -> SoCal -> Big Apple

I guess I decided to move my blog from xanga to blogspot... we'll see how this works. My old xanga entries are still located at www.xanga.com/azndumpling26 (however let me warn you... there are some entries which are not censored haha they are from my past and I have kept it real.)

It has been an interesting month I must say.

8/7 Last day of work
8/8 Tim Kim's Wedding
8/9, 8/10 Pack
8/11 Move to SoCal
8/12 Unpack/Pack for Hawaii / meet up with Michelle Jay
8/13 Fly to Hawaii (Crack of Dawn flight...)
8/13-8/19 Hawaii with family... Back to back adventures... did not hang loose. \m/
We went snorkeling twice, woke up at the crack of dawn (left the door at 6:15AM) to see pearl harbor, went to north shore twice, went to waimea falls, went to giovanni shrimp shack, saw sea turtles, went to a lu'au, went to dole plantation twice, went to see a magic show, went to all these beaches, (however only briefly to see the view...), drove all over the island and a bunch of other things...
All I wanted to do was relax and enjoy the beach (which was literally in our backyard) and chill by the pool and read a book sip on a pina colada or strawberry daiquiri (which I did do for half a day... felt sooo good) and when I feel like it jumping into the pool and swim for a little and then come back out to read and sip on some more good juice.
I did meet up with Hannah Whang who also happened to be in Hawaii. I also bumped into one of my best friend Sunny and his wife Kat at a shrimp shack. It was the most random thing. It was awesome to see him. (I was one of his groomsman) Providence that we met for sure.
8/19 Flew out of Hawaii (got upgraded to economy plus for free because they ran out of economy seats...)
8/20 Met up with Grace and Susan in the morning, Esther Lee for lunch, Jessica Ian in the afternoon, Sunny and Kat for late night dessert
8/21 Met up with Laura Kwak for breakfast, Esther Sung, Steph Lee, and Kimberly Mar for lunch and coffee, Albert and Connie for late afternoon boba, Jaime Kim for late night dessert
8/22 swung by David and Jenn's engagement party on my way out to LAX to take the red eye flight to JFK
8/23 JFK, dropped of my luggage at my apt (my roommate happened to be there already), and went to Redeemer for church. Sooo tired... almost knocked out even though Keller was preaching. (He preached on David and Bathsheba)
Had dinner with Hanna Park and then slept at my god-sister Alice's place
8/24 got the keys to my place, moved in... met my roommates, and then went to target.
Target without a car is brutal. Going there is okay... but coming back and lugging all that stuff was hard... plus the subway stations were platform stations instead of underground... so I had to walk up the stairs with all that stuff... plus going back to my place is all uphill!!! =/
Had dinner with Beth at Joe's Shanghai... (in chinatown) she really liked it. haha I thought it was quite good as well. She helped me run some errands as well... gave me a 10% Sephora discount! I needed lotion and facewash. Also went to Kmart to pick up some misc things and Old Navy to pick up some flipflops.
8/25 went to fairway market to buy some groceries and went to craigslist to find AC and rice cooker.
Went to chinatown again to pick up some rice and chinese groceries and drinks... and then picked up some dinner.
Fixed my linux computer to run adobe flash player with sound... yay pandora works!!! phew... I dunno how I'll live without pandora. =D
8/26 made a turkey sandwich with roasted garlic hummus spread along with romaine lettuce and tomatoes on a raisin walnut bread (freshly baked!) and now typing up this blogspot...

I did have a couple of reflections yesterday as I went out on an adventure to Chinatown...

I think I really fit in here... I walked out of my apartment with my hair spiked, shades on, headphones plugged in to block out the sound of the world and a book to read. People asked me about the subway system (which is the express train and which is the local train) When I transferred at Penn Station, people would be running and some people would be walking briskly... lo and behold I noticed people around me walked just as fast if not faster than me... I mean it is rare that people walk as fast as me but I guess here it is a commonplace. I think people are trying to make up for the lost time that are involved in waiting for the subway or sitting idly in the trains... The insane amount of people really makes me alive for some strange reason... Maybe it's because I feel like I belong or I feel apart of the crowd... As I see those tour doubledecker buses I can't help but feel that I am now a part of new york... to those visitors I am a new yorker who is busy running around... with things to do, places to go, people to meet.

My second reflection happened at the BBQ shop where I was ordering my food. These two chinese ladies were ordering and talking about the price of a BBQ duck and chicken... From the look of things, it seems they don't have much to live on and what immediately hit me was my past. My past here... our family didn't have much to live on. Coming to Chinatown to pick up groceries, my mom would try to find the cheapest food but yet the most fresh. We were barely making ends meet. It brought about a nostalgia that I haven't felt in a while... As it was my turn to order, I ordered a cheap BBQ chicken and BBQ duck over rice... it was only 5 dollars. I pulled out my cash and reflected man... 5 dollars is nothing to me. How did I get this far. How was I able to make money and now even afford luxury that other people would have never imagined... eating at restaurants that cost around $150 per person. Those chinese ladies would probably flip out. Now, I am ordering a humble meal at 5 dollars. Don't get me wrong.. the food was good. It was good for me to be around "cheap" places because I am able to reflect and see how much God has carried me through... By the grace of God, I am what I am. I hope I don't forget about my past to see how much God has blessed me. Maybe this might mean more adventures to chinatown... who knows.

This weekend I'm going to Boston... my friend Lauren is going to Tufts for her PhD and I will be visiting some of my other friends... School starts after Labor Day...

I'll post more later... =)

kevin